The Shallow End of the Pool

Today marks the release of the second solo album from Gene Simmons (The first was way back in '78, at the peak of KISS-mania). He's decided to call it "Asshole."

This got me to thinking. IS Gene really an asshole?

Certainly anybody who has ever seen or read an interview with him knows he is full of himself, but does that make him an asshole? No, it just makes him a rock star. You have to have a certain amount (read: LOTS) of ego to be a musical icon, and Gene certainly qualifies. What separates him from other of his ilk, though, is that he doesn't try to pretend to be something he's not. He freely admits he cares about two things in life: money and women, and his chosen occupation allows him to have copious amounts of both. No facade of being an "artist" and all the pretentiousness that comes with it, just lots and lots of selling himself. Just about anything you can think of buying at the store, from condoms to caskets, has been marketing with Gene's leering face on it. He's made millions upon millions of dollars doing what he does, and you know what? God bless him for it. Here's a guy who was not born in this country; came here at a very young age not knowing a word of English; is certainly not a terribly handsome man; and yet...is living the American Dream (insert Dusty Rhodes joke here).

In short, Gene Simmons is a brilliant businessman and a master of self-hyperbole. So I've determined that he really shouldn't have called his new album "Asshole." With the way he's perfected the art of making money by selling himself, he should have called it "Gene Simmons: Whore." And I'll be the first in line to buy whatever he's selling.