The Shallow End of the Pool

Wow, I had almost forgotten that I never did the conclusion to my last real post until my brother reminded me.  O.K., technically if someone had to remind me then I didn't "almost" forget, I COMPLETELY forgot.  So go ahead and click on that handy link I left for you up there if you need to remember what the hell I was talking about a few weeks ago, and then resume at the next capital letter you see below (it probably will be an "s").
 
So, I rushed out to my local movie mega-plex last May to see "The Matrix Reloaded," the highly anticipated first sequel to one of the best movies ever made.  Seriously, I can't stress enough how great the first "Matrix" film was; an absolutely stunning cinematic achievement that I can (and have) watched over and over again.  As a quick side note, can you believe it's already been over a year since the American public was duped into believing that these 2 sequels wouldn't completely suck?  But I digress...
 
When I called the local theatre a "movie mega-plex" in the last paragraph, I was being sarcastic.  Hell, it's even a stretch to call it a "theatre."  But seeing as how it is the only game in town, I had been going there happily for years.  But clearly this was a real Mickey Mouse organization, and boy did it show.  Ironically enough, my first bad experience goes back to the aforementioned original "Matrix."  Me and 2 of my buddies from work went to see it on opening night, with some free passes we had scored through a work connection.  However, throughout the film, the glorious stereo sound would cut out and we would be treated to the wonderful sound of a lone mono speaker, just as the Wachowski Brothers, I'm sure, intended their epic to be heard!  I never missed any dialogue or anything, but it was distracting, as you would hear a loud pop whenever the speakers would cut out.  You could still hear out of the one speaker, and it would only last for 10 seconds or so before kicking back in again, but it was still an annoyance.  But like I said, we did have free passes so we just let it go.
 
I made many return trips to the theatre without incident.  I did note, however, that a good percentage of times (at least 75%, if not more) they had signs hanging in the box office window stating that the film to one of the movies had been scratched, and so if you bought tickets to see this movie, half of it would be ruined because of the jagged scratch marks running across the entire screen.  I have never in my life seen this happen anywhere else, but it was just par for the course at this hell hole.  Happened all the time.  And their solution was to just hang up a sign saying "see this movie at your own risk-no refunds" instead of FINDING OUT WHY THE ASSHOLE PROJECTIONIST KEEPS F***ING UP THE MOVIES.  Thankfully, it was never one of the movies I was going to see, but I still made note of the clear ineptitude that was transpiring.
 
Tomorrow, I will tell you all about what happened at my screening of "The Matrix Reloaded" that made me swear of this theatre forever.  Plus, special bonus features...the ingenious marketing plan by the Einsteins that run this place, and the stupidest thing that happened when I went to see "The Mod Squad."  Trust me, it was even stupider than me going to see "The Mod Squad" in the first place.