The Shallow End of the Pool

I've written about the CBS show "The Amazing Race" before (check the archives, I'm too lazy to post a link for you right now), but what happened on this past Tuesday's episode was one of the funniest things I have ever seen on television, and certainly the greatest thing ever to happen on a reality program.

The 6 remaining teams had just arrived in a small town in Africa and had to take a bus to get to their next destination. Being a bit spread apart, the teams ended up on 3 different buses. Apparently, there are no sort of government regulations on the public transportation system wherever they were in Africa, because there was just some random guy collecting money from people after they sat down, and it seemed like he could charge whatever he felt like. The first two teams got on a bus and were charged five dollars each. I'm going to skip the middle two teams for a second. The last two teams got on a third bus and were charged only three dollars each. O.K., that's not too bad; only a two dollar differential there.

Now back to the second bus. Those two teams got on the bus and sat down, and the shakedown began. The menacing looking gentleman collecting the fares saw four ignorant Americans who surely had lots of cash on them, and demanded 200 dollars for the fare. To their credit, neither of the teams was falling for this and began the bartering process. However, the guy would not go below $150. Smelling the shakedown in progress, the teams decided to get off the bus. This is where the fun really began. He would not let them get off the bus. He actually physically blocked the aisle and made them sit back in their seats, and told the driver to start moving. I am now hysterically laughing, as these people have these dumbfounded expressions on their faces. During the course of what can now be best described as a temporary kidnapping, they manage to get the guy down to $100. Still a far cry from the $5 and $3 that the others paid, though. Then the bus runs out of gas. Seriously, the bus runs out of gas. One guy runs down the road with a gas can and returns shortly with the gas...and they make the Americans pay for it. That is not a misprint. You can watch the episode in a repeat this Saturday night at 8:00 if you don't believe me. This guy's bus runs out of gas, and after already charging $100 each for the ride HE MAKES THEM PAY FOR THE GAS.

So, whoever you are, sir, living all the way over in some small town in Africa, I salute you. You, my friend, are the absolute king of the shakedown.