Tuesday, October 25, 2005
DISCLAIMER: The following story is 100% true, and I will probably come across as a shallow asshole. Please note that this blog is called "The Shallow End of the Pool." You have full disclosure right there at the top of the page. For what it's worth, for any ladies out there, this is what guys talk about. All the time. You go to the bathroom in packs to talk about us, so fair is fair. Onwards.
At work the other night, I answered the phone and took a take-out order for somebody who was obviously dining alone that evening (one entree and one dessert). I gave the lovely-sounding young woman a total, asked for her name, and told her to come by in 15 minutes to pick it up.
I commented to the chef that she sounded really cute over the phone, and that it was a shame that she was eating dinner by herself. The following dialogue ensued:
CHEF: "Maybe she's not that cute."
ME: "Possible, but she sounded really cute."
CHEF: "What's the name?"
ME: "Ashley."
CHEF (after a brief pause): "There's no such thing as a girl named Ashley that's not cute, is there?"
ME: "I don't think so, no."
No real point to this story, except that I think he's right. There seems to be a small handful of names that only go to really attractive girls. Conversely, in the immortal words of John Bender, "Claire? That's a fat girl's name."
By the way, Ashley was not cute. She was positively gorgeous.
At work the other night, I answered the phone and took a take-out order for somebody who was obviously dining alone that evening (one entree and one dessert). I gave the lovely-sounding young woman a total, asked for her name, and told her to come by in 15 minutes to pick it up.
I commented to the chef that she sounded really cute over the phone, and that it was a shame that she was eating dinner by herself. The following dialogue ensued:
CHEF: "Maybe she's not that cute."
ME: "Possible, but she sounded really cute."
CHEF: "What's the name?"
ME: "Ashley."
CHEF (after a brief pause): "There's no such thing as a girl named Ashley that's not cute, is there?"
ME: "I don't think so, no."
No real point to this story, except that I think he's right. There seems to be a small handful of names that only go to really attractive girls. Conversely, in the immortal words of John Bender, "Claire? That's a fat girl's name."
By the way, Ashley was not cute. She was positively gorgeous.
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Can't argue with you here. Certain names just belong to certain types of people.
I'm gonna assume you got those digits.
I'm gonna assume you got those digits.
You've known me your entire life, and you still assume I got those digits?
Here's the problem I have in my life: I have a certain "type" that I am attracted to. In fact, at the restaurant I first worked at down here, every year we would get literally 50 new people every June (college students making some money over summer break). And every year, my manager, WITHOUT FAIL, was able to pick out exactly which ones I found attractive. And here's the problem: My "type" can be also classified as "out of my league."
Here's the problem I have in my life: I have a certain "type" that I am attracted to. In fact, at the restaurant I first worked at down here, every year we would get literally 50 new people every June (college students making some money over summer break). And every year, my manager, WITHOUT FAIL, was able to pick out exactly which ones I found attractive. And here's the problem: My "type" can be also classified as "out of my league."
As I used to say before I met my wife.
"She doesn't have what I'm lookin' for - low standards."
OK - I stole if from Cliffy.
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"She doesn't have what I'm lookin' for - low standards."
OK - I stole if from Cliffy.
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