The Shallow End of the Pool

Since this year's edition of the Academy Awards are this Sunday, I'm going to plow all the way through from 1996 to last year. The closer we get to the present, the harder it is to determine whether or not a lot of these films will ultimately pass the test of time. As a result, I may not have a lot to say about most of these.

Best Picture 1996: "The English Patient." Also nominated: "Fargo," "Jerry Maguire," "Secrets and Lies," "Shine." I never saw "The English Patient" and never plan to. "Fargo" would have been my choice, although I enjoyed "Jerry Maguire" a great deal. In other showdowns, Geoffrey Rush ("Shine") took Best Actor. I would have gone with Billy Bob Thornton for "Sling Blade." This year also saw the release of "Trainspotting," which received one nomination (Best Adapted Screenplay, which it lost to "Sling Blade"). "Trainspotting" should have received more nominations; it was an absolutely mind-blowing film and was easily the best movie of the year.

Best Picture 1997: "Titanic." The less said about this, the better. This was an even bigger travesty than the "Forrest Gump"/"Pulp Fiction" fiasco from a few years before this. Repeat after me, class: "L.A. Confidential." "L.A. Confidential." "L.A. Confidential." The Academy should be embarrassed, not only for picking that overblown boat story, but also for COMPLETELY ignoring the performances of Russell Crowe, Guy Pearce, and Kevin Spacey. A black mark in the history books.

Best Picture 1998: "Shakespeare In Love." Take everything I said above, but change the words "L.A. Confidential" to "Saving Private Ryan." Absolutely unforgivable.

Best Picture 1999: "American Beauty." Ah, I feel much better now. It also took home statues for Best Actor (Kevin Spacey), Director (Sam Mendes), and Screenplay (Alan Ball). Great movie, great choice.

Best Picture 2000: "Gladiator." And Russell Crowe was finally awarded for his performance in the same. Another good year.

Best Picture 2001: "A Beautiful Mind." Dull. Predictable. I'm sorry, but I just didn't like this movie. "The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring" should have won, but we all know that everybody was waiting for the third film to arrive to award the series. This was also the first year of the Best Animated Feature category, which went to "Shrek." I have mixed feelings on this category. On the one hand, I am happy that the Academy is finally giving this genre the respect that it is due. On the other, the problem is that BECAUSE of this category, animated films will never again be nominated for any big awards. Pretty much EVERY movie Pixar has ever done ("Toy Story," "Toy Story 2," "A Bug's Life," "Finding Nemo," "The Incredibles," and the film that lost to "Shrek," "Monsters, Inc.") has been deserving of higher recognition. Most of them belong in the Best Picture category, and they should ALL should have been up for Best Screenplay.

Best Picture 2002: "Chicago." I actually liked it, but "Gangs of New York" was much better. Of course, "The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers" was better than them both, but that's okay because...

Best Picture 2003: "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King." Yes, I am a geek, and yes, I am still thrilled with every aspect of this entire trilogy. The only complaint is that the Academy never gave any of the acting awards to anybody in these films.

Best Picture 2004: "Million Dollar Baby." I never saw any of the films nominated last year, so I have no comment. I heard "Sideways" was really good.

So there we have it. Now that I'm done with this whole experiment, I have no idea what I'm going to write about next time.