The Shallow End of the Pool

The Stanley Cup Playoffs start on Friday, and...holy crap! For the first time since 1997, my beloved New York Rangers aren't sitting home watching the games on TV like me. It was heart-breaking to see them lose first place on the final game of the season, but what can you do? After nine years, I'm thrilled to have them be in the hunt no matter what. For my money, the run for the Cup is THE MOST exciting time of the year. Here's my thoughts on the whole shebang.

WESTERN CONFERENCE
(1) Detroit Red Wings vs. (8) Edmonton Oilers
The mighty Red Wings finished the year by winning the President's Trophy (awarded to the team with the best record in the league each year) and are always a force to be reckoned with. I say Detroit in 5.

(2) Dallas Stars vs. (7) Colorado Avalanche
Colorado isn't the same team they were two years ago and Dallas is always strong, but something in my gut is saying the Avs will take it in 7.

(3) Calgary Flames vs. (6) The Mighty Ducks of Anaheim
The Flames will win in 6, just because I still think the Ducks is a stupid name.

(4) Nashville Predators vs. (5) San Jose Sharks
San Jose came on real strong in the stretch-run, winning eight straight, so they have tons of momentum. But both teams were phenomenal on home ice this year; Nashville, with the higher seed, has home ice advantage, so I'll pick them in 6.

EASTERN CONFERENCE
(1) Ottawa Senators vs. (8) Tampa Bay Lightning
The Lightning, defending Stanley Cup Champions, won't make it out of the first round this year. Ottawa is a powerhouse (and, in fact, my pick to win the Cup). Look for a sweep.

(2) Carolina Hurricanes vs. (7) Montreal Canadiens
Klaus Meine would be proud. The Hurricanes will rock Montreal in 5.

(3) New Jersey Devils vs. (6) New York Rangers
Jesus Christ, this is bad. If you had told me two weeks ago that the Rangers were to face the Devils in Round One, I would have been frigging ecstatic. Then that pack of Satan worshippers won ELEVEN games in a row to finish the season and catapult into first place in the Atlantic Division. God Damn Devils. My heart is screaming for NY, but my brain says NJ in 5. I pray I'm wrong.

(4) Buffalo Sabres vs. (5) Philadelphia Flyers
My one consolation if the Rangers get knocked out is knowing that the hated Flyers will be right behind them. Buffalo in 6.

Hmmm...I've just realized that I picked the top 4 seeds to all win in the east. Usually there's some kind of upset, so...Rangers in 7!!!

I'll keep everybody posted as things progress. NOTE: I am notoriously bad at predicting these things, so this entire column has been a total waste of your time. Sorry.