Tuesday, April 04, 2006

 

WrestleMania 22

I know there's a couple of fellow wrestling fans that check this space out, so I thought I'd present my thoughts on this past Sunday's big show. I actually wanted to put my predictions in but I never got the chance, so instead you're stuck with my post-show musings. I'll rate the matches from Zero to Five stars.

WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP: Kane and The Big Show retained their belts against Carlito and "The Masterpiece" Chris Masters. Solid opening bout, but the result was not even close to surprising; Kane pinned Carlito after Masters accidentally hit his own partner. This match was obviously more setup for the inevitable break-up of the Carlito/Masters team (which happened the following night on RAW). A bit disappointing because it looks like Carlito will be the face, but he's one of the most effective heels on the roster. ** for the match, Zero for Carlito turning face.

MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH- Matt Hardy/Shelton Benjamin/Rob Van Dam/Finlay/Bobby Lashley/Ric Flair: Great match and good to see RVD pick up such a high-profile victory. This was the second year in a row for this match; I hope it becomes an annual contest, as it really gives a spotlight for some deserving workers to shine. It was also the second year in a row that Shelton Benjamin stole the match. **** match, ***** for Benjamin's performance.

UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP- JBL won the title from Chris Benoit (while using the ropes for leverage). Any match with Chris Benoit is going to be above average but I think it was missing a little something, probably because this feud is just getting started. After JBL's tainted win, I expect the next time they meet there will be more intensity. **1/2 match, ***** for the guy in the front row with the sign that had a picture of JBL next to a bag of Slim Jims ; Above the dried meat it said "BEEF JERKY" and above JBL it said "BEEFY JERK." Best sign of the night.

HARDCORE MATCH- Edge defeated Mick Foley. Fantastic. This is what should separate Pay-Per-Views from regular TV more often. Most PPVs don't seem to offer anything different from what you see week in and week out on RAW or Smackdown. I'd buy more of them if there was a guarantee I'd see something like this. By the way, I'm not just talking about the blood. It's all about intensity and the feeling that I'm watching something special. ***** match.

2 on 1 HANDICAP- The Boogeyman defeated Booker T and Sharmell. I am dumbfounded as to why this clown is being forced down the fans' throats every week. Booker and his wife have been a real highlight on Smackdown for months, and this is how he's rewarded? I hope Vince McMahon was watching the monitors backstage and noticed the crowd's complete indifference. Actually, that's not true. "Indifference" would indicate a lack of response, there was actually a very loud "BORING" chant...which is even more impressive when you realize the match was UNDER FOUR MINUTES LONG. Zero stars for the match and The Boogeyman, ***** for Booker T just because he needs to be recognized.

WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP- Mickie James ended Trish Stratus' year-plus reign on top. A bit longer than usual for a women's match (almost nine minutes), but the months-in-the-making story and talent involved deserved it. I was surprised to see the crowd so solidly behind Mickie. Her facial expressions and the crowd's response almost made this a **** match, but there was a badly blown spot towards the end that sucked some of the wind out of the finish. So, ***.

CASKET MATCH- The Undertaker improved his WrestleMania streak to 14-0, easily dispatching of Mark Henry. Just as Chris Benoit makes any match better, Mark Henry will always bring it down. His ten-year contract expires later this year, and I can't imagine him getting another. Solid work from The Undertaker saved this one, including an incredible dive over the top rope AND the casket below onto Henry. **1/2 stars.

NO HOLDS BARRED- Shawn Michaels defeated Vince McMahon in another fantastic match. Take everything I said above about the Edge-Foley match and apply it here. Not a scientific wrestling clinic by any stretch of the imagination, but it wasn't expected or necessary. Here's a simple equation: Solidly Built Storyline + Charismatic Workers X Hot Crowd = ***** match. My only qualm (which doesn't affect this rating, because it happened 24 hours later on RAW) was the announcement that the feud will continue into next month's PPV. This should have been the end.

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP- Rey Mysterio was deservedly crowned the new champ, defeating Randy Orton and the now-former champ Kurt Angle in a triple threat. ***** for the workers involved and for the decision to give Rey the strap. Unfortunately, the match itself is only going to get ***. Why? First of all, it was WAY too short. A WrestleMania World Championship match clocking in at under 10 minutes??? There was some great action in the little amount of time the match was given, but the finish seemed to come out of nowhere and there was no real drama. Also, the impact of Rey's win was diminished when he tapped out to the Angle Lock only a few minutes into the match (Orton was distracting the ref, who missed the submission). A real letdown.

PLAYBOY PILLOW FIGHT- Torrie Wilson beat Candice Michelle. Memo to Vince McMahon: In this day and age, people who want to see half-naked chicks roll around can see it anytime they want on the internet for free. And the ones on the internet won't be HALF naked, they'll be ALL naked. And they won't be rolling around, they'll be...well, never mind about that right now. The point is, I paid 50 bucks for this? No, thanks. Negative 100 stars. An abomination. While I'm here, more negative stars for the decision to put this match on while MNM, the WWE Tag Team Champions, are sitting backstage and not defending their titles on the biggest show of the year. Inexcusable.

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP- In a real shocker, John Cena defeated Triple H by submission to keep his title. Great match with lots of back-and-forth action and near falls. This was what I expected from the triple threat earlier. ****.

BEST MATCHES:
1. Foley-Edge
2. Michaels-McMahon
3. Cena-Triple H

Comments:
Thanks for the rundown and your thoughts. I missed this years WM, but it sounds like it was a great card overall (pillow fight included).
 
Awesome rundown of the card. I didn't watch it (but I did see Raw - Go Spirit Squad!)

Can't wait to see it now.

Edge has quickly become one of my all time favorite wrestlers and the money in the bank match sounds awesome.

I do like The Boogeyman, however, but I am a sucker for gimmicks.

BTW, Mickie James is a riot. If you ever want to check out some of her pree WWE days you can buy one of the WEW DVD sets. They are in the wrestling section of Best Buy and cost about $6 for a double disc set of 4 PPV events. She wrestled as Alexis Larue.
 
I loved wrestling from the early 80's up until about 98 or so when there was just too much talking and not enough wrestling except for the pay per views. How has Mark Henry managed to be around this long? The last I saw of him he was just size with no talent and very littl coordination.
 
Mark- Mark Henry is still just size with no talent and very little co-ordination. He was given a 10 year contract back in '96 with no experience and has been a complete waste.

Sweetie- I actually have one of those WEW sets, got it for Christmas as a gag gift. I scanned through most of it, but I'll have to go back and look for her now.

And I still can't stand the Boogeyman, but I love the Spirit Squad!
 
She has dark black hair (she wore it wet) and weighed about 10 lbs less.
 
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